Resign

natashalieromanov:

If Tony weren’t so afraid, he’d be mesmerized.

He’s surrounded by stars; by the greens and purples and other colors that permeate an otherwise unending blackness. The Benatar drifts, and Tony tries desperately to not think about the fact that, when he dies, it’ll be years before anyone finds his body. 

He’s never fared well with being alone. It’s always reminded him bitterly of his childhood, of lonely nights and a longing for someone to love him. Of course, here, he isn’t alone. Nebula wanders in and out every now and again, but Tony knows that she’ll likely leave him to die alone on the ship. Why would she stay with a dying human when she could be out figuring out how to kill Thanos?

It’s fitting, he thinks. Dying alone and in space. His two greatest fears. 

A type of karma fitting only for someone like him, someone broken and worthless and undeserving of happiness. And to think, he was going to get married and have children! Ha! Tony Stark, the man with everything and nothing, be happy? 

It’s almost laughable. He had been happy. He should have known better. Happiness never lasts, not for people like him. Not for murderers who let innocent children crumble to ash. 

The thought of Peter is enough to make him want to cry, but he can’t. His body doesn’t have enough water for tears. He hopes that the dehydration will get him first. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll hallucinate and see Peter again.

God, Stark, you really are pathetic, aren’t you?

Tony straps himself to his chair and resigns himself to his fate. He’s always known that it would end like this.

He only wishes that he had been enough to stop it.